In spring of 2010 when I left my career to go out on my own I started spinning regularly at Equinox Soho. Between Darryl Gaines TranscendCycle and Matt and Amy’s classes, I cycled religiously. One common theme in those 45 hard, hot and sweaty minutes was imagining biking up a mountain, riding towards whoever your mind envisioned waiting there for you. Pushing and pulling against resistance to get to the top, to reach them.
I met Nico on the last day of October 2011 and we both insisted (to others and mostly ourselves) it was “just for fun.” After a few months all the others and we ourselves knew we weren’t fooling anyone. Nico finally told me to get over our age difference, that we both knew it was more, and in that moment (plus the one where he told he me ‘I love you’ in his sleep) we went from this-could-never-be to this-will-never-not-be.
Starting in early 2012, whenever I was “biking up the mountain,” what came to mind was always the same. Nico with a little boy and a little girl at the top. He was often holding the little boy’s hand with the little girl in his arm. Sometimes our families were there, sometimes close friends, sometimes loved ones who had passed, but always the three of them. And I biked harder and faster to get to them.
I moved from Nolita to Williamsburg in 2014 and switched over to SoulCycle and Sync Studio. In Brooklyn, Nico and I got engaged, married, and had Javi. More recently we had two miscarriages and got pregnant again.
After not spinning and really missing it, I got a Peloton this Mother’s Day as a gift. Last week in a 90s rock ride for the first time the instructor had us visualize something. Biking to the top of a mountain. She asked, who are you riding to? And my mind immediately saw the same scene.
Only now I was just weeks away from meeting our final family member.
I am weeks away from the little girl who will complete our family. And it occurred to me that all these years I have been, in a sense, biking harder and faster to reach the family my mind knew was waiting for me.
NOTE: This post is not sponsored. All thoughts are unbiased and my own. All photos and content are property of Lauren Cosenza Beauty LLC.
Lauren Cosenza consults for top brands, websites, and magazines and serves as a trusted beauty/fashion/mom expert, a brand ambassador, an on-camera personality and spokesperson, a creative director, a published editorial contributor and writer, the creator and owner of DIVAlicious®, the creator and owner of BEAUTYfull®, a product junkie and an insatiable style seeker — with a former life at Cosmopolitan, Shape and Bustle/BDG brands. She currently runs Señor Lechuga Hot Sauce with her husband (and baby boy) as the Co-Founder + Head of Brand.
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