99.99% of the time, being an American means athletic superiority and pretty much world dominance when it comes to sports.  During that 0.01% of the time that is the World Cup, we have to hope for the best, expect elimination, and find someone to root for when our team falls.

With the World Cup final this Sunday, here are some swag tips to take you from bandwagon to diehard fan.

Pick up a jersey. It is never a bad thing to root for the best player in the world. And if you really are a fan of Argentina, this is non-negotiable.

Cop a pair of Havaianas.  Yes they are a Brazilian brand (sorry Brazil fans) but it seems like South America can’t get enough of these sandals.  Make sure you choose the right team colors.

Grab something stylish to track extra time.  You’ve already spent a cool $20k on finals tickets, you might as well drop another $42k on the Official Watch of the World Cup.

Block out the cameras.  There are over one million Brazilians whose tears have been immortalized; I bet they wish they were wearing some shades.

Win or lose, you are drinking.  Argentina has some pretty incredible wines. May I suggest a Vina Alicia Brote Negro Malbec.


– Sr. Lettuce